A deeper look at my approach
needs
We all have a set of needs that we aim at every second of every day. Every behavior, every though, every emotion is an arrow (vehicle) we aim and shoot in the attempt to meet our needs. We all meet our needs in a variety of ways for a variety of reasons. At times however needs go unmeet, change, go into conflict with each other. When this happens, tectonic shifts take place in our need structures causing us to change and find new vehicles to try and meet our needs. The challenge we can experience is not that the needs shifted, needs shifts are going to happen. The problem is our choice of vehicle. We can choose vehicles that don’t serve us, and we don’t know why. We just do it. When we can understand that we are simply just trying to meet a need, it helps us to understand our why. By accessing and understanding your need structure you unlock the first key to creating real clarity.
Beliefs
Every one of us has a unique set of beliefs based on our personal experience. While each of our beliefs are unique, the system that operates our beliefs is the same for everyone. This system is our guiding map. Our guiding map is made up of our beliefs, values, rules, and representations. This map informs us how we are to respond in any given situation and which vehicle to use to meet our needs. The challenge we can experience is sometimes our beliefs are outdated, built on false information, in conflict with each other, or set up to ensure we fail. This is because beliefs are something we can just make up, out of thin air. For example, if you were to make up a rule that tells you “in order for people to like me, I have to make everyone happy”. You have just made something up out of thin air, that will ensure you loose your game. The minute you don’t make someone happy, you loose. Gaining an understanding our guiding force is the second key to clarity as it helps you to create new beliefs, values and rules. When we have a new handcrafted map built to serve us, we create certainty on how to move forward.
States
There are around 3000 words in the english language that we use to describe a state of emotion - happy, sad, peaceful, overwhelmed, strong, weak. Based upon our emotional states, we will all make very different decisions. Do you make a different decision in a state of fear vs. a state of faith? Absolutely. We all do. Many times however, we aren’t even aware of our states and how they are effecting our lives. As we run these emotional patterns, since we feel it, we have a tendency to think that we actually are our emotional states. We are happy, we are sad, we are peaceful, we are overwhelmed. Why, because the feeling in our body tells us so, making our brain believe it’s true. The truth of the matter is this, we do happy, we do sad, we do peaceful, we do overwhelm. We are not our states of emotion, we do them. We do them by making three decisions that we make all the time, yet much of the time we are completely unaware of these decisions and that we are even making them. Understanding what makes up our each of our specific states and learning how we can shift them at any time for any reason, turning our feelings around to serve us. This is the third key to bringing clarity. With clarity and certainty, you can begin to expand your capacity of experiencing new empowering states.